OK in this tense time with politics and all, I want lay some future ground rules for grocery shopping. These came to me yesterday as I was in the store about to commit cart rage...so here it goes...:O)
1. If your girth plus that of the cart is equal to or greater than that of the width of the aisle, DO NOT shop next to your cart, place it in front or behind you!!
2. Pretend there are dotted lines in the middle of each aisle and STAY ON YOUR SIDE!
3. Make a list!!! standing and staring into the unknown all the while another person needs what you are standing in front of will just get you into trouble.
4. STAY OFF YOUR PHONE!!! Enough said about that one.
5. Make your children behave, if you can't then leave them with someone else, and don't beat them in front of me unless you want some too.
6. Don't fondle the produce, you can thump a melon or squeeze a cantaloupe but don't fondle stuff we eat, if you pick it up, buy it I don't want your germs!
7. If you see a friend, say hi and MOVE ON! Or at least find a good empty spot to park and talk NOT IN THE AISLE IN FRONT OF ME!!
8. If you are not disabled and only need the electric carts because you are fat....YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON THAT NEEDS IT, GET SOME EXERCISE AND WALK!!!!! LEAVE IT FOR THE TRULY HANDICAPPED FOLKS! (Big pet peeve).
9. If you have to constantly ask an employee where things are...LOOK UP! Guess what there are signs above every single aisle, who knew?? Sheese!
10. If your eyes are so bad you have to stand on one side of the aisle to see the other....Get some glasses!!
11. If you feel the need to read the ingredients on everything you buy before placing it in your cart, they are ALL on the Internet, look them up before you go shopping!
12. And last but not least, if you forget something while at the register, BUY IT NEXT TIME! Do not make other people be forced to stand there while your inept 8th grader goes to pick up your feminine products or 100 pound bag of dog food!
This is in no way an exhaustive list, just remember, you are NOT the only person in the store so don't act like you are!! Have a nice day!
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